🏗️ Rebuilding Trust After a Crisis 🌋

It can feel like an impossible task to rebuild trust and reintegrate a child back to a classroom after a crisis situation. Here's how to make it easier!

Mar 02, 2025

Crisis incidents are awful for all involved. They can be traumatic for the children and adults. Unfortunately, they are all too common and they are not something school staff are specifically trained to navigate.

🌋What is Crisis Behaviour?

When I refer to crisis behaviour in this post, I mean any situation where a child’s verbal or physical actions pose a significant risk to themselves or others. In some settings, professionals may use TeamTeach techniques to provide physical support when a child reaches this level of distress.

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🏗️ Why Should Trust be Rebuilt?

Rebuilding trust with children after a crisis incident is crucial. Even if their actions have resulted in you contacting emergency services or social care, I recommend attempting to rebuild that trust. You might even find that, using the right strategies, the child feels safer within the educational setting after the crisis incident.

Using traditional behaviour policy strategies for a child who has displayed crisis behaviour can leave them feeling isolated. It is extremely damaging for a child to be isolated after a crisis incident and it can compound any attachment needs or trauma they have suffered. This can often result in the child increasing the frequency at which they display crisis behaviours. As their trust and attachment break down with the educational setting, they will no longer feel safe or loved and are therefore more likely to display behaviours that correspond to those feelings.

Please also make sure you are in the right mindset to rebuild that trust with the child. Look after your own mental well-being initially, so you are able to provide appropriate support to the child when going through the following stages. If you feel unable to provide that support, perhaps ask a colleague to complete them instead.

🪞Reflective Conversations

Reflective conversations after a crisis incident are essential for helping children process their emotions, develop self-regulation skills, and understand the impact of their actions. By providing a safe space for discussion, these conversations foster accountability, strengthen relationships, and encourage problem-solving, ultimately reducing the likelihood of repeated incidents. They also promote empathy by helping children recognise how their behaviour affects others. Most importantly, these conversations should occur when the child and adult are calm, ensuring a productive and supportive dialogue.

There are multiple ways you can have these conversations. The most effective way I have found to do this is by using these four questions:

What happened?
Who was hurt (emotionally and physically)?
What can we do next time?
What did you need?

I’m going to say it again because it’s so important. These conversations should ONLY take place once you and the child are regulated again. This can sometimes be days or weeks after the event but it is well worth doing!

If the child and adult are not in the right frame of mind to hold these conversations, it can just compound the issue and make the situation much worse.

You don’t have to use those four questions to have a reflective conversation, they are by no means an exhaustive list. However, taking the time to have this style of conversation after a crisis incident is hugely beneficial.

Share these four questions with your colleagues!

🚧Rules Routines & Boundaries

Consistency and clarity in expectations are vital for creating a secure learning environment.

Clearly defined rules help children understand acceptable behaviour within your classroom and the consequences of their actions. When boundaries are transparent, children are more likely to feel respected and less anxious, which can prevent future incidents. Having this as the culture within your classroom will help when having those reflective conversations.

Being consistent in your routines also plays a significant part in rebuilding that trust after a crisis incident. If the child can predict your behaviour and responses they are more likely to engage in a restorative discussion.

Implementing trauma-informed practices, such as maintaining consistency in interactions and responses, reinforces these boundaries and supports children's emotional well-being.

What rules, routines and boundaries do you have in your setting?

❤️‍🩹Demonstrating Consistent Care

Post-incident, educators must show unconditional positive regard (UPR). This involves acknowledging the incident, offering forgiveness, and providing opportunities for children to make amends. Such actions convey to children that their worth is not diminished by their behaviour, promoting a culture of empathy and resilience.

In practice, when adopting these strategies, I have observed positive outcomes. For instance, after a child broke a window in my classroom at the end of the day. I said goodbye to them as normal and greeted them the exact same as I usually would the following morning.

This enabled the child to feel comfortable, safe and regulated when returning the following day. Just before lunchtime, I asked the child to help me with a job. Whilst they were supporting me with this, I used the 4 questions above. The child explained their feelings and emotions before the incident and we agreed on a plan which would hopefully support them moving forward.

🗯️Final Thoughts

In conclusion, rebuilding trust after a behavioural incident requires deliberate efforts centred on reflective dialogue, clear boundaries, and consistent care. By implementing these strategies, educators can transform challenges into opportunities for deeper connections and personal growth, ultimately enhancing the educational experience for all children.

Take the time to rebuild this trust after a crisis, it’s really worth it!