Unconditional Positive Regard

Should Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) be used in all educational settings? Do the benefits outweigh the negatives?

What is Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR)?

Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR) is a concept that was first introduced by the humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers in the 1950s. It refers to the unconditional acceptance and support of an individual, regardless of their behaviour or actions. Essentially, UPR is a way of showing love and empathy to someone, without any judgment or conditions. In theory, this is a great way to live life!

There are obvious challenges to implementing this approach in Education, especially in mainstream settings. As most behaviour policies would not be applicable. For example, a pupil’s actions yesterday should not impact their day today, therefore to be aligned with UPR, next-day detentions, isolations and suspensions would cease to exist.

In broad terms, UPR means showing respect and acceptance towards every individual, even if you do not agree with their choices or behaviour. It means providing support and guidance, without imposing your own beliefs or values onto them. This approach has incredible benefits for those with SEMH and SEN needs as it promotes a sense of trust, safety and belonging.

When any child or young person feels that they are accepted and valued for who they are, they are more likely to open up and share their thoughts and feelings. This can lead to more effective communication and a deeper understanding of their needs. Essentially, if you treat every day as a new day for every young person, they are more likely to respect you and open up to you. This compounds over time, hopefully resulting in a class full of pupils with almost zero behaviour issues.

Additionally, UPR can help to improve self-esteem and self-worth. When a child or young person feels that they are accepted and valued, they are more likely to feel confident in themselves and their abilities. This can lead to a more positive self-image and a greater sense of self-worth.

UPR can also help to promote positive behaviour. When a child or young person feels that they are valued and respected, they are more likely to behave in ways that reflect these values. This can lead to a more positive and constructive environment, which can have a positive impact on the child or young person's mental health and well-being.

It is important to note that UPR does not mean that you accept or condone negative behaviour. Rather, it means that you show empathy and understanding towards the child or young person, while also setting clear boundaries and expectations for their behaviour.

A personal example used with a pupil in crisis (in a specialist SEMH setting)

Pupil: Is in crisis and is ripping up work and pushing over tables, chairs etc.

Me: “I can see you’re upset about something at the moment. Would you like to go outside and play some football instead of finishing this work?”

Pupil: Continues to knock over things but begins walking towards the door to the playground. They begin lightly kicking the door wanting to be let out.

Me: “I can see you’d like to go outside and that is an option. However, before we leave. I'd appreciate it if we picked some of this paper up and put it in the bin.”

Pupil: Picks up some paper quickly, scrunches it up into a ball and throws it aggressively into the bin.

Me: Thank you for following my instructions I really appreciate it. Now let’s go outside.

Now a few things are going on in this short exchange. My main aim is to get the pupil out of crisis as quickly as possible. I have a few ideas about why they have gone into crisis but I’m not 100% sure!

If I were to begin shouting at them and handing them hundreds of detentions, it’s not going to make a blind bit of difference in this particular moment. Therefore, I use my knowledge of this pupil (they absolutely loved football and generally being outside) to offer them an easy ‘out’ and reset.

Once I’ve seen that they have chosen that option - by walking towards and kicking the door- I remind them that I don’t condone what they’ve done and we will be returning to this after we’ve regulated (by asking them to pick up the paper). In a situation like this, I always choose something easy and the least likely to escalate things.

After spending some time outside and chatting with the pupil, they disclosed what had made them so frustrated, I explained it was okay to be angry and that I would help them tidy the classroom once we were back inside.

If you take this approach, you’ll often find a day, a week or even sometimes a month later, that pupil will show remorse for their actions in some way or other. Typically I used to find post-it notes on my desks saying sorry. It’s a small gesture but it shows they understand their actions were wrong.

Using this approach with a class of 9 pupils in an SEMH setting I was able to completely stop using any behaviour charts or rewards system by Christmas. We had built up enough respect within the class team (pupils, Teacher and TAs) to not have to rely on any behaviour system.

I am well aware that the above scenario could not practically be used in a mainstream class of 30+ in either primary or secondary. However, I do believe there are things you can do that are in line with UPR. Such as, if a student is rude or shouts out during the lesson, speak to them at the end or at the start of the next lesson to discuss the incident. If they are consistently disruptive and have to be taken out of the lesson. Make a conscious effort to see that student at some point that week to discuss what happened and why.

In mainstream primary I often found juice and biscuits helped massively. It costs about £2 a week for some cheap juice and biscuits. But after a pupil had been disruptive, offering them some juice and biscuits and then chatting about the incident was always more successful than giving detentions or taking away their break/lunch times - something I strongly disagree with.

In conclusion, UPR is a powerful approach that can have a positive impact on the mental health and well-being of children and young people with SEMH needs. By showing unconditional acceptance and support, we can promote trust, self-esteem, and positive behaviour, ultimately leading to a more positive and constructive environment.

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