3 Questions to solve conflict in schools
The idea of using restorative practice in schools is an increasingly popular one. This post explores the three key questions you can use to resolve conflict.
Here are three key questions that can help resolve many conflicts among children and young people. These questions are versatile and can be used in any setting involving young individuals. They can be posed to each person separately or during a restorative meeting.
I have used this technique multiple times with great success. It may seem like a small activity, but it genuinely does work!
You can ask the questions to the young people individually, discussing the incident with each one. If they are able to be together after some time has passed, you can conduct a restorative meeting and address each part of the conflict with these questions.
What happened? The first question aims to establish an objective understanding of the incident or conflict. It encourages individuals involved to openly share their perspectives, providing a platform for active listening and empathy. By allowing each person to contribute their account of the event, a more comprehensive and accurate picture emerges, fostering a deeper understanding of the situation.
Who was hurt (emotionally and physically)? This question focuses on acknowledging the emotional and physical harm caused by the incident. It encourages individuals to express their feelings, concerns, and the impact of their actions on themselves and others. By giving a voice to those affected, it promotes empathy and compassion, helping everyone involved recognize the importance of their words and actions.
What can we do next time? The final question shifts the focus towards growth, learning, and proactive problem-solving. It invites participants to collectively explore strategies and solutions to prevent similar incidents from happening in the future. This approach empowers children and young people to take ownership of their behaviour and make meaningful changes, fostering a positive and respectful learning environment.
Disclaimer: Only ask these questions to the young people when they are regulated and able to talk about the incident.
For some young people, this may be hours after the incident, for others this may be days or weeks.
Love the use of 'what' questions over why/how - they feel a lot less interrogative and judgemental. I think this approach might work just as well with conflict amongst adults as it does children.